Hi! I’m Carly Ann Filbin, host of Let Me Break You Up, the world’s only anti-dating game show. I hate love because...well...I don’t have it! So if you are happy, because I am not, I must make you sad. This is how the world works!
Despite what your well meaning friends and therapist say, if you’re bitter you have my permission to make the happy people in your life miserable! Here are some fun ways you can make everything about you and break up relationships in your own life!
- You’re at a wedding, alone, because of course you are. Don’t try to break the bride and groom up because hello(!) you put $20 in the card (well, a $5 and 13 singles) and you want to make sure you drink your fair (unfair?) share of the open bar. Go for the hottest groomsman instead. He brought a supermodel date (because of course he did). Ask the DJ to dedicate Patty Smyth’s “Sometimes Love Just Ain’t Enough.” When the DJ (wait, is he Aaron Carter?) announces “Here’s a special little song from Zach, the hot groomsman, to his girlfriend Lily. He wants you to know he needed to say his feelings through song.” Watch as Lily throws cuttlery and does some serious damage. “There’s a danger in loving somebody too much…”
- You’re in the dressing room of T.J.Maxx when you hear a woman say “Babe, can you get this for me in a medium?” Before “babe” comes back with a garment no one would normally buy (but the deep discount is very persuasive) you slip a note over the door saying “Hey, I don’t want to be with you, I actually hate your guts and your cat. You have a cat right? Anyway, byeeeeeeee.” Then you laugh at this hilarious game you’ve created and then buy the reasonably priced garment she threw on the ground before running out sobbing.
- You’re at Ikea (you’re not broke, you’re saving for the future). In the bedroom section you see a couple testing out a mattress by both sitting on it and bouncing up and down (wildly inappropriate, but very common). Scream “SUCKS TO ONLY SLEEP WITH ONE PERSON FOR THE NEXT 5 DECADES” and run away. But not before stopping at the Ikea cafe and eating dinner. You’re single and lonely, lean into it!
Don't miss Carly Ann's return to RVA and the Coalition Theater this Saturday, March 2nd at 10pm with "Let Me Break You Up: An Anti_Dating Game Show." The couple with the least amount of points at the end of the night will have to break-up. It’ll be FUN! Tickets available here.